Most times when I am given a church responsibility that will be ongoing for a certain length of time, I feel fearful at first, doubtful, inadequate, and wonder how in the world I will be able to accomplish what's been asked of me. I immediately turn to prayer, take a deep breath, and DIG IN!
Over time I figure out what I'm doing, relationships develop, love for those I serve deepens, experiences are etched in my mind forever, my life is changed; and then... BAM...I'm released from that responsibility, and I am LOST!
For the past 3 years I have been serving in a capacity that oversees the welfare of about 150 women, which extends to their families as well. This entails Sunday and weekday meetings, lessons, classes, funerals, caring for the sick and the grieving, serving in many capacities. I have been on a constant run.
But this isn't about me. It's about what I've seen in others. I have seen, from a different vantage point, the service and love that is freely and willingly given by others. I am amazed, impressed with, and in awe of the many women I have served WITH. Whenever there was a need, whatever was asked, was given without hesitation. Most times the asking never had to happen. Things were being done just because a need was known, and out of love and kindness, the need was met.
I have been made aware of the fact that EVERYONE has challenges; some being extremely difficult, but we all have them. I have prayed for, cried for, and loved these strong women who go through the battle of life with determination and faith. I love these women.
I am grateful for the many opportunities over the years, with various responsibilities, that have made me stretch and grow in ways I never thought possible. I am grateful to a Father in Heaven, who has answered my prayers every single time in order to accomplish what I needed to. He has carried me through.
Upon my release from this latest assignment, I expected to feel relief. I expected it to be a cause for celebration, for relaxation, for a chance to catch my breath. It was not. I felt lost. I felt sad. I keep looking at my phone, thinking there's a problem with it because it has ceased to ring. I feel needed no more.
I tried shifting my focus to all the things I've been wanting to do, that I could now do with my free time. Friends and family have been telling me I need a break. I thought I would too, but when that day came last week, I quickly realized I don't WANT a break. When I serve others, and serve God, that's when I am the happiest. Stretching and growing and learning new things makes me a better person.
I continued to feel lost. What was I to do now? Where do I fit in? Will I go back to being my shy self who sits in a back corner all alone, feeling useless?
THEN, I got a call. As of tomorrow I get a new assignment. I get to teach the 3 year old children on Sundays. I have not stopped smiling. Those children are the sweetest, most pure and precious little people that I now get to associate with. How lucky am I? I have found a new focus.