Sacrifice

I think I'm over the hump of dealing with my emotions over sending my son on a mission. Now the reality of funding that mission has set in. He worked hard and saved enough money to get everything he needed before going, with some leftover to help us out a bit, yet we still have a monthly amount to scrounge up. How is this going to work? On paper, it doesn't.

We discontinued Comcast, so have no more TV or land-line phone service. We are selling my husband's truck (no bites just yet), which KILLS him (he loves his truck) and little fishing boat (he loves that too). We cut back on food and any other extras we could find. Things are still tight, and quite honestly, we weren't sure how we were going to make those mission payments.

When we read accounts in the scriptures, or modern-day stories of people who are attached to their material possessions, we think (or at least I do) of how selfish they are, and materialistic, and I become judgemental and wonder why they can't see what they're doing and just let go of those "things" and look to the greater good. Now that we have to get rid of some material possessions, I find myself in a position of true mourning.

My husband's truck has been so good to us. There's nothing wrong with it, and it has served us well. It's not only a comfy ride, but we have used that truck countless times to help our children move, or haul things from one place to another, help ward members and neighbors in various ways, tow broken down cars, pull people out of snow and mud when stuck, haul stuff to the dump, tow the boat to favorite fishing spots, loan it out to others, help with service projects, "flags", etc., etc. I think a LOT of people are going to miss our truck. :)

And then there's the fishing boat. A purchase from my husband's brother; lovingly cared for by brother and my husband. Fishing has been my husband's one stress reliever. He has made memories with our children for the past 10 years, taking them one at time for some Daddy/daughter or Daddy/son time, just fishing and talking, eating jerky and whatever else they scrounged up early in the morning before heading out. Good talks happened on the lake while waiting for the fish to bite. Fish were caught, cleaned, and later cooked and eaten. The boat came with us on camping trips, along with tubes to pull the kids on.

Once these items are sold, all we'll have are those memories. It makes me sad to let the item itself go, but how grateful I am for the good times we've had.

It seems silly to mourn for the loss of such things, yet I do. But we learn that life requires us to make sacrifices, and there are better things to sacrifice for, which makes it worth it.

As I sit down to pay our bills today, rather than try to figure out how it's all gonna work, I remind myself to have faith. I know I need to pay our tithing and mission payment first, then I figure I'll just have to juggle the other bills as needed. But we have been blessed in many ways already, by others helping out. Still, I sit there in my room, surrounded by bills, the checkbook, the calculator, working out the numbers one way, then another, when one of our children walks into the room, expressing a desire to help missionary brother. We are handed what might be considered "the widow's mite", and the warmest, most peaceful feeling floods through my soul.

Everything is going to be alright. I love my family. We are so blessed.