Magic

Sometimes life and my current responsibilities tend to weigh me down. This past weekend was a particularly difficult one for me and I allowed myself to sink into despair, and maybe even a bit of self-pity. I wondered how I would ever pull myself out, but I didn't have to. Others did it for me. Today, while sitting at my desk engrossed in my typing, a little voice said "HI g-MA" and I look at the doorway to my office to see the sweetest little granddaughter's face, lit up with a smile that would melt anyone's heart, let alone mine. All the gloom immediately left me, as that little girl RAN over to me and jumped up into my lap. I have been feeling much better ever since. It's magic!

To make my day even better, one of my sons put away the dishes from the dishwasher...get this...are you ready?...WITHOUT BEING ASKED!!! Magic!

To complete my day, my daughter-in-law made cookies for me to take to our neighborhood potluck tonight, bailing me out of having to scramble and make something last minute after getting home from work. AND...she also asked if she could make dinner for us tomorrow night. Umm, didn't take me long to say "yes please". Magic!

All the things that have been hanging over my head like a thick fog, pressing down on me, weighing me down like a ton of bricks, have all receded today with these three simple things that took place in my normal routine of a day. It doesn't take much, and yet it's HUGE and means the world to me.

Magic!

Baby no more!

My last-born turned 15 today. I remember the pregnancy vividly. Morning sickness that lasted the entire 9 months, AND was NOT restricted to just mornings. I had 5 other children to care for. I was exhausted all the time. I had pains I never had with the others. BUt it was all worth it. I had hoped for another girl so my one daughter would have a sister, but not knowing ahead of time, the sex of the baby, when he was born I felt an instant bond and love for him that is indescribable. Even though I had had 6 babies before this one, the feeling of love and tenderness and protectiveness was just as strong as it was with baby #1.

Now I look at this baby of mine who has grown several inches this past year, has lost his cute baby cheeks and young boy look, is turning into a young man who will soon be driving and next year, dating, has discovered talents he possesses, has found his niche in life and in the family, is a hard worker and does so much for others, even taking care of ME in many ways. He has become the nurturer.

I love being a Mom!

Music fills my soul

I went to a violin/piano recital tonight to support my friend of 32 years. Janice Vincent and Robert Nakea played 3 Sonatas, the work of Edvard Hagerup Grieg. The music itself, captivated me from the first note, and then witnessing the passion that both Janice and Robert exibit, I felt as though I had been transported to another time and place. Music does that to me. It affects my very soul and I experience a kind of out-of-body experience. The only way my body knows how to respond, is through tears.

I am so grateful for the talents of others; for the countless hours of practice, over numerous years, to perfect the talents they have been blessed with, in order to share with everyone else, for the building up and edifying of our lives.

I left my busy home tonight, with the purpose of doing something for my friend, by showing support, yet also knowing that I would be the one to benefit the most. I am filled.

Tremor

I've made remards in the recent past that I embrace life and the age I am currently sitting at. I still embrace life, but honestly, I do all I can to defy my true age.

I exercise faithfully and am on a diet plan to try to retain as much youth as possible and feel better. I color my hair to look younger, but have been doing it for so long, that I thought maybe I ought to go back to my natural color. I asked my hair stylist how much gray I would have if I did that, and she said "honey...you're ALL gray". SO...I won't be going there anytime soon. I get my nails done, which is another splurge that makes me feel good, younger in a way. I go to the Dr. every year to go through all the required testing to make sure I stay on top of my health.

Now a new problem crops up. I have a head tremor. I have had it for years, but just when applying makeup. Now, just in the last 2 weeks, it has become very pronounced, especially when I text, type, or write. That's when it's worst, but it also happens for not reason at all; putting toast in the toaster, looking at someone while talking to each other, any time really. I can't control it. It's not a nervous thing, but is completely out of my control, which is very unnerving. My kids are noticing and commenting on it, which has been more alarming to me.

In research we've done on our own, it is not a Parkinson's symptom (that begins with hands and feet), but most likely a neurological brain deterioration of some kind. There is no cure, although medication can help when it gets really bad. I do need to go see a Dr. though and get properly diagonosed.

I have been thinking to myself, "GREAT!!! There's no mistake NOW that you're an old woman." My son Jason said, "Mom, if it bothers you that much, just wear headphones and when someone asks you why your head is shaking, just pull out an earpiece and say you're just rocking out to your music" (as head shakes back and forth). I'll be the rockin-out Gma. OK, I can live with that.

Monday Night Sacred Time

Monday night has been set aside for family time. Whether we choose to talk about a certain subject, do some reading together, or watch a movie together, that's our time. The phone continues to ring, the doorbell sounds off, interruptions still occur. The week is so busy with so many things, and then the weekend is busy with other certain things, including church commitments on Sunday, that we expect the phones to ring and interruptions to happen, but is it too much to ask for some peace and quiet and privacy on just one night a week? I get annoyed when those who know better, continue to infringe on our rare time together. I realize that sometimes it's necessary, I'm sure I've done it myself, but I sure think twice, and usually wait for another time. On Mon. nights I do not feel guilty if I don't answer the phone. But sometimes that doesn't help, because the person then just walks over to the house and rings the bell. Sheesh! Am I whining here? Maybe so. After a long, exhausting day, I just wanna be left alone for a minute ya know?

Better go to bed. :)